Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Fill Yourself Up! (The Oxygen Mask Rule)

April 14, 2017 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

It is insidious, how, little by little we give up doing things for ourselves, because we believe that we should be spending more time with out child. Until finally we realize that we are doing nothing for our own pure enjoyment anymore. Everything is a compromise, or hinged on that love we have for our child. We end up having no 1:1 time with ourselves, and instead we snatch stolen moments at the computer while we yell to the other room “just a moment honey…”

Why Preschool Shouldn’t Be Like School

April 5, 2016 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Without a teacher present, children look for a much wider range of information and consider a greater range of options. Knowing what to expect from a teacher is a really good thing, of course: It lets you get the right answers more quickly than you would otherwise. Indeed, these studies show that 4-year-olds understand how teaching works and can learn from teachers. But there is an intrinsic trade-off between that kind of learning and the more wide-ranging learning that is so natural for young children. ..

Heart Centered Listening vs Body Centered Listening.

February 12, 2016 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

If your child (or someone else) screaming “I want to stay!!!!!” Makes you want to scram and extinguish that screeching…

What do Birds Know that We Don’t?

November 15, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Just yesterday I just had a wake-up call about my relationship with my 4 year old son. It began as I held another child for 40 minutes while he cried for no reason apparent to me, or to any of the other teachers. There was nothing obvious to “fix,” so I did what I could: I simply held him and allowed him to cry. I didn’t try to jiggle him out of it. I didn’t try to joke with him, or cheer him up, or even reassure him about some fears I could imagine he might be having. I had absolutely no idea why he was crying, so I just let him cry. While he was crying, I periodically checked in with him: “Would you like to call your Mom?”

Your Family Values

September 24, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

If it’s not a YES, it’s a NO. Nothing good comes of living in ‘maybe-land.’ ;)

My 5th Grader’s Surprising Choice for Schooling this Year…..

August 12, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Have you ever watched a cat shift its ears like furry radar dishes, surveying the terrain, all the while calmly relaxing and purring? My brain was like that cat; my awareness was a due to a radar-like brain function that I was not particularly keen on desensitizing. I would prefer to alter my environment, than alter that perfectly operating function in my brain.

Pressure has no place in a learning environment. It is counter to the goal, in fact. Pressure creates cortisol rushes that burn through healthy brain networks and, left uncorrected, the stimulation can create new cortisol pathways that actual seek to fill themselves again and again in an addictive cycle. Think of a child sitting on the edge of his seat, neck craned, eyes bugged out, peering at a video game screen, for example. That looks like a cortisol rush unfolding to me. Video games can do it, and so can crowded, noisy, or distracting atmospheres wherein a child is expected to perform.

Taking a Step Back….

June 14, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

My critical self-judgment has probably been the most difficult thing to overcome in being parent. It seems I am never enough. whew. I never do enough for my children, don’t do it well enough, don’t love them enough, I’m not patient enough with them, not energetic enough for them, not sweet enough for them. That condemning JUDGE inside me tells me in so many ways how I am simply NOT enough.

Men Should Not Cry (What are You Living Toward?)

May 21, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

You see a 5 year old child who is crying and screaming, sobbing about something. His parents are sitting with him, trying to sooth him. You might think “That child cannot control his emotions. He is emotionally immature. He needs to learn how to control his emotions.”

Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills

April 8, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

The way that children spend their time has changed. A growing number of psychologists believe that these changes in what children do has also changed kids’ cognitive and emotional development.

It turns out that all that time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

Everything Can Be Play!

April 1, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Most children, and some talented adults, can take practical life (getting dressed, for example) and turn it into a magical adventure.   Everything is play, and everything becomes play. Have you ever tried to hurry a little boy into his clothing and out the door?  It is usually to no avail — the shirt becomes a […]

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