Creating a Place of Belonging and Empowerment for Children

Wherever you go, it is the staff who make a school what it is.  And the staff at Riviera PlaySchool are all grounded in the same philosophy — that of non violent communication, and mindfulness.  You will notice that every interaction between child and adult has a consistent and tangible feeling of respect and compassion.  And when any conflict occurs, it is a true learning moment, and teachers are on hand to hold space for the children to resolve their own conflicts.  We try to not rush to a resolution of our adult creation.  Sometimes children can take a while to sort a conflict out to a place they deem to be “fair.”.  And we give them space to take the time to do that, while offering support, and helping them keep bodies and hears safe.  We pay particular attention to where we are during the conflict.  We stay on the sidelines.  We don’t jump into the fray energetically.  If we notice our speech becoming more rapid, or our voice becoming louder, then that’s a signal to us to take a step back and let them have their own emotions about the conflict at hand…  It’s pretty tricky, and it keeps us more awake as people.  It is an incredibly magical thing to witness a couple of small children figure out a workable solution to their volatile dilemma…and then walk away laughing together, more emotionally and socially intelligent than before.

Helicoptering and Inner Compasses

I have been ruminating on helicoptering. You know, that thing that we do at the park when we are afraid of offending other people via our child’s poor behavior. “Tommy! Don’t throw sand! Share your toys!”

Taking a Step Back Can Provide All The Freedom your Child Needs!

We all know that our children are not reflections of us, but every once in a while we get tricked into that lie again! It sneaks in, and we spring into RE-action, rather than mindful response. That way of “reflective” thinking is a trap that often leads us to seek approval from the random parents around us. It can throw us into a tizzy of self-judgment: Oh my gosh my child is screaming (at me)! What is that father/store clerk/woman thinking about us/me?! Instead of, “Oh my gosh my child is screaming… what does my child need that I can give him?” The irony is that those parents who we are trying to please in that hot moment of crisis don’t actually matter to us as much as our own children do, nor are they even in line with our own core values!

Parenting Workshop: Oh Siblings!

“I secretly believed that sibling rivalry was something that happened to other people’s children. Somewhere in my brain lay the smug thought that I could outsmart the green-eyed monster by never doing any of the obvious things that all the other parents did to make their kids jealous of each other. I’d never compare, never take sides, never play favorites. If both boys knew they were loved equally, there might be a little squabble now and then, but what would they really have to fight about?

Now Hiring: a Great Teacher/Facilitator!

Now Hiring! We are looking for a compassionate, empowering teacher/facilitator, or an assistant teacher/facilitator and a few good substitute teachers who love to play and facilitate emergent plans with children.

Riviera PlaySchool pre-kindergarten program in Redondo Beach, CA www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

What do “Shutter Island” and non violent communication have in common?

What do “Shutter Island” and non violent communication have in common?

Creating a Place of Belonging and Empowerment for Children

Wherever you go, it is the teachers who make the school what it is. And the teachers at PlaysSchool are all grounded in the same philosophy — that of non violent communication. Therefore, when any conflict occurs, it is a true learning moment, and teachers are on hand to hold space for the children to resolve their own conflicts. We are never in a rush to resolve the conflict. Sometimes children can take 20 minutes to sort a conflict out, if we let them. And we do. We pay particular attention to where we are during the conflict. We stay on the sidelines. We don’t jump into the fray energetically. If we notice our speech becoming more rapid, or our voice becoming louder, then that’s a signal to us to take a step back and let them have their own emotions about the conflict at hand. It’s pretty tricky, and it keeps us more awake as people.

Taking a Step Back Can Provide All the Freedom Your Child Needs!

Freedom to have power, explore, create, play, and resolve conflicts can be given to children anywhere, at anytime. These freedoms are so essential to becoming individuals, and so essential to discovering our own purpose in life, and our gifts. And yet parents these days seem to helicopter over their children, surely motivated by love, providing guidance and a running commentary on their child’s every action: “Say please! Share! Don’t do that – take turns! That’s not nice!” Contrary to these parents’ loving desires for their children, this hovering and directing steals away their children’s opportunity for magic and joy and power, and individuation! How do we arrive at a place where we can allow our children to freely experience the (dangerous?) world we live in?

Can the Right Kinds of Play Teach Self-Control?

Many practices that most prekindergarten teachers consider essential are more or less banned from Tools of the Mind classrooms. There are no gold stars, no telling the class that they are all going to have to wait until Jimmy is quiet; even timeouts are discouraged. When there is a conflict — when, say, Billy grabs a toy from Jamal — the Tools of the Mind teacher’s first questions are supposed to be: What was it in the classroom that made it hard for Billy to control himself? And what mediators could help him do better next time? The teacher does remind Billy that there is a rule and he broke it, but she doesn’t make a big deal out of the incident. “We pretty much try not to use this whole concept of misbehavior,” Bodrova told me. “These kids are not born criminals. Even if they do something that is completely out of bounds, they do it because they can’t stop themselves.”

Letter to my Child

Dear Kian, As you prepare for kindergarten, I wanted to write a letter to you, my love, to document my hopes for you, my love for you, and my admiration of you. I hope you will live in a world of peace, nature, community, egalitarianism, and high ideals.

I want you to be fulfilled and happy, and value the importance of life’s simple pleasures. This is where you will find true bliss.

Just today you said to me “I believe anything is possible,” and with that, I felt I had achieved the bulk of my intentions with you.

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