Friday, October 20, 2017

Fill Yourself Up! (The Oxygen Mask Rule)

April 14, 2017 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

It is insidious, how, little by little we give up doing things for ourselves, because we believe that we should be spending more time with out child. Until finally we realize that we are doing nothing for our own pure enjoyment anymore. Everything is a compromise, or hinged on that love we have for our child. We end up having no 1:1 time with ourselves, and instead we snatch stolen moments at the computer while we yell to the other room “just a moment honey…”

Taking a Step Back

March 16, 2016 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

We all know that our children are not reflections of us, but every once in a while we get tricked into that lie again! It sneaks in, and we spring into RE-action, rather than mindful response.

Raising Entitled Children

January 15, 2016 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Several of the schools Kian attended over the last 5 years gave us both the feeling that he was being programmed to “fit in.” The implication there is that something about his authentic self was somehow in need of repair or renovation. Attention to “fitting in” can make a person learn the “eggshell walk” at an early age.

Your Family Values

September 24, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

If it’s not a YES, it’s a NO. Nothing good comes of living in ‘maybe-land.’ ;)

Men Should Not Cry (What are You Living Toward?)

May 21, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

You see a 5 year old child who is crying and screaming, sobbing about something. His parents are sitting with him, trying to sooth him. You might think “That child cannot control his emotions. He is emotionally immature. He needs to learn how to control his emotions.”

How do we reach a point where we can comfortably allow our children to endure their own pain?

March 11, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

My son Kian has always been good at conjuring up plans… but bringing them to life is another matter entirely. The pieces wouldn’t fit, the parts would fall off, or the wheels would not turn. His grand visions just needed his building expertise to catch up a little more…. and his ensuing frustration would start to leak out sideways, screaming like steam from a kettle. It was impossible for me to ignore: his loud keening was a veritable curse to the gods. It penetrated me. I could feel his chafing frustration in my heart, seeping in like hot oil. It would sit and simmer then, until something would finally snap. There was no turning back! I would lose all control, and spring into “Fix It Mode!”

Empathy vs Sympathy: Do you care more about your child’s feelings or your own?

November 30, 2014 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

There is a fine line between sympathy and empathy. Learning the difference can make huge changes in your relationship with your child. My mother was a professional worrier. Whenever I expressed having a problem with anything, she sympathized, “Oh my poor dear. That’s so awful. Do you really have to do that?” Her sympathy was not helpful. As a matter of fact, I stopped sharing my problems with her because then I had her feelings and worry to deal with as well as my own problem.

Compassionate Listening = Listening to Ourselves with Compassion

November 21, 2014 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

The reason why I created a non violent preschool for my son, and the reason why I am on the hunt for a humanitarian school (or at the very least a compassionate teacher) for his elementary school experience, is completely selfish: I was a troubled child. I was the hard one. I had BIG emotions, and they were usually not understood. (OK, I admit it…I am STILL the troubled child, and I STILL have BIG emotions!)

a note about consistency

August 30, 2014 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Society tells us that parents need to be CONSISTENT in order to be effective and responsible. If we aren’t ‘consistent,’ we will end up with a child who is out of control; a monster, who manipulates everything to their own end.

Kindergarten Testing and the Shocking Results…

February 11, 2014 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

New Kindergarten Readiness Test … if kindergarten is the new first grade, then when do our kids attend preschool? Is the logical extension that we begin teaching our children social skills in utero?

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