What Writing Is…..

One day a little girl in our school tilted her head toward me and asked “Linda, will you write my story?”
Now, typically I would simply agree, but something told me not to on that day. So instead of putting pen to paper, I said “Nandu, I will write it. But why don’t you?”
Linda! Nandu puffed out in exasperation “I CAN’T write! I’m just 4!!”
“I looked at her “Nandu” do you know what writing is?”

Fill Yourself Up! (The Oxygen Mask Rule)

It is insidious, how, little by little we give up doing things for ourselves, because we believe that we should be spending more time with out child. Until finally we realize that we are doing nothing for our own pure enjoyment anymore. Everything is a compromise, or hinged on that love we have for our child. We end up having no 1:1 time with ourselves, and instead we snatch stolen moments at the computer while we yell to the other room “just a moment honey…”

Helicoptering and Inner Compasses

I have been ruminating on helicoptering. You know, that thing that we do at the park when we are afraid of offending other people via our child’s poor behavior. “Tommy! Don’t throw sand! Share your toys!”

Are You Listening…?

I have been putting my attention on listening lately.

I was thinking about a conflict the other day that involved my son and myself. I realized that ‘conflict resolution,’ per se, doesn’t truly exist when the conflict is between the two of us. And that is because I have an agenda. You see, I think I know the better way, the better tactic, the “truth,” and even before I let my son explain his thoughts and intentions, I am already formulating my response.

Today’s Educational World

Many parents don’t realize that the education world has changed drastically since they were in school. Schools and class sizes used to be smaller, dropout rates lower, in-school violence almost unheard of, and teachers weren’t terrified of showing affection to their students, or of discussing moral values. Of course, even then, school was far from perfect, but at least the teachers—and usually the principal—knew every student by name, something that is increasingly rare today.

Growing Through the Pain

My son Kian has always been good at conjuring up plans… but bringing them to life is another matter entirely. The pieces wouldn’t fit, the parts would fall off, or the wheels would not turn. His grand visions just needed his building expertise to catch up a little more…. and his ensuing frustration would start to leak out sideways, screaming like steam from a kettle. It was impossible for me to ignore: his loud keening was a veritable curse to the gods. It penetrated me. I could feel his chafing frustration in my heart, seeping in like hot oil. It would sit and simmer then, until something would finally snap. There was no turning back! I would lose all control, and spring into “Fix It Mode!”

Compassionate Listening = Listening to Ourselves with Compassion

The reason why I created a non violent preschool for my son, and the reason why I am on the hunt for a humanitarian school (or at the very least a compassionate teacher) for his elementary school experience, is completely selfish: I was a troubled child. I was the hard one. I had BIG emotions, and they were usually not understood. (OK, I admit it…I am STILL the troubled child, and I STILL have BIG emotions!)

MASTER CLASS WITH RUTH BEAGLEHOLE: HUMAN SEXUALITY

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Use Your Words!

Parenting can be like tobogganing down a flight of stairs on a swatch of cardboard: smooth and easy, with just a couple of bumps and bruises! A good guideline for accomplishing this is to swap shoes with your child: treat them as you would like to be treated. And like Horton says: “People are People no Matter How Small.”

Family Values

My current favorite thought: Embrace every moment, “Be it gash, or gold, for it will not come again in this incredible disguise.” (Gwendolyn Brooks)

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