What Writing Is…..

One day a little girl in our school tilted her head toward me and asked “Linda, will you write my story?”
Now, typically I would simply agree, but something told me not to on that day. So instead of putting pen to paper, I said “Nandu, I will write it. But why don’t you?”
Linda! Nandu puffed out in exasperation “I CAN’T write! I’m just 4!!”
“I looked at her “Nandu” do you know what writing is?”

Yelling “No!” Actually Works!

Exclaiming “No!” to stop a child works!

It is guaranteed to stop a child in his tracks and turn their happy, healthy, neuron-growing science exploration into a tirade of tears in seconds.

So what do we do instead?…..

Creating a Place of Belonging and Empowerment for Children

Wherever you go, it is the staff who make a school what it is.  And the staff at Riviera PlaySchool are all grounded in the same philosophy — that of non violent communication, and mindfulness.  You will notice that every interaction between child and adult has a consistent and tangible feeling of respect and compassion.  And when any conflict occurs, it is a true learning moment, and teachers are on hand to hold space for the children to resolve their own conflicts.  We try to not rush to a resolution of our adult creation.  Sometimes children can take a while to sort a conflict out to a place they deem to be “fair.”.  And we give them space to take the time to do that, while offering support, and helping them keep bodies and hears safe.  We pay particular attention to where we are during the conflict.  We stay on the sidelines.  We don’t jump into the fray energetically.  If we notice our speech becoming more rapid, or our voice becoming louder, then that’s a signal to us to take a step back and let them have their own emotions about the conflict at hand…  It’s pretty tricky, and it keeps us more awake as people.  It is an incredibly magical thing to witness a couple of small children figure out a workable solution to their volatile dilemma…and then walk away laughing together, more emotionally and socially intelligent than before.

Fill Yourself Up! (The Oxygen Mask Rule)

It is insidious, how, little by little we give up doing things for ourselves, because we believe that we should be spending more time with out child. Until finally we realize that we are doing nothing for our own pure enjoyment anymore. Everything is a compromise, or hinged on that love we have for our child. We end up having no 1:1 time with ourselves, and instead we snatch stolen moments at the computer while we yell to the other room “just a moment honey…”

Helicoptering and Inner Compasses

I have been ruminating on helicoptering. You know, that thing that we do at the park when we are afraid of offending other people via our child’s poor behavior. “Tommy! Don’t throw sand! Share your toys!”

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