Friday, October 20, 2017

Fill Yourself Up! (The Oxygen Mask Rule)

April 14, 2017 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

It is insidious, how, little by little we give up doing things for ourselves, because we believe that we should be spending more time with out child. Until finally we realize that we are doing nothing for our own pure enjoyment anymore. Everything is a compromise, or hinged on that love we have for our child. We end up having no 1:1 time with ourselves, and instead we snatch stolen moments at the computer while we yell to the other room “just a moment honey…”

Why Preschool Shouldn’t Be Like School

April 5, 2016 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Without a teacher present, children look for a much wider range of information and consider a greater range of options. Knowing what to expect from a teacher is a really good thing, of course: It lets you get the right answers more quickly than you would otherwise. Indeed, these studies show that 4-year-olds understand how teaching works and can learn from teachers. But there is an intrinsic trade-off between that kind of learning and the more wide-ranging learning that is so natural for young children. ..

Heart Centered Listening vs Body Centered Listening.

February 12, 2016 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

If your child (or someone else) screaming “I want to stay!!!!!” Makes you want to scram and extinguish that screeching…

What do Birds Know that We Don’t?

November 15, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

Just yesterday I just had a wake-up call about my relationship with my 4 year old son. It began as I held another child for 40 minutes while he cried for no reason apparent to me, or to any of the other teachers. There was nothing obvious to “fix,” so I did what I could: I simply held him and allowed him to cry. I didn’t try to jiggle him out of it. I didn’t try to joke with him, or cheer him up, or even reassure him about some fears I could imagine he might be having. I had absolutely no idea why he was crying, so I just let him cry. While he was crying, I periodically checked in with him: “Would you like to call your Mom?”

Your Family Values

September 24, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

If it’s not a YES, it’s a NO. Nothing good comes of living in ‘maybe-land.’ ;)

Taking a Step Back….

June 14, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

My critical self-judgment has probably been the most difficult thing to overcome in being parent. It seems I am never enough. whew. I never do enough for my children, don’t do it well enough, don’t love them enough, I’m not patient enough with them, not energetic enough for them, not sweet enough for them. That condemning JUDGE inside me tells me in so many ways how I am simply NOT enough.

Men Should Not Cry (What are You Living Toward?)

May 21, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

You see a 5 year old child who is crying and screaming, sobbing about something. His parents are sitting with him, trying to sooth him. You might think “That child cannot control his emotions. He is emotionally immature. He needs to learn how to control his emotions.”

How do we reach a point where we can comfortably allow our children to endure their own pain?

March 11, 2015 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

My son Kian has always been good at conjuring up plans… but bringing them to life is another matter entirely. The pieces wouldn’t fit, the parts would fall off, or the wheels would not turn. His grand visions just needed his building expertise to catch up a little more…. and his ensuing frustration would start to leak out sideways, screaming like steam from a kettle. It was impossible for me to ignore: his loud keening was a veritable curse to the gods. It penetrated me. I could feel his chafing frustration in my heart, seeping in like hot oil. It would sit and simmer then, until something would finally snap. There was no turning back! I would lose all control, and spring into “Fix It Mode!”

Empathy vs Sympathy: Do you care more about your child’s feelings or your own?

November 30, 2014 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

There is a fine line between sympathy and empathy. Learning the difference can make huge changes in your relationship with your child. My mother was a professional worrier. Whenever I expressed having a problem with anything, she sympathized, “Oh my poor dear. That’s so awful. Do you really have to do that?” Her sympathy was not helpful. As a matter of fact, I stopped sharing my problems with her because then I had her feelings and worry to deal with as well as my own problem.

FREEDOM TO LEARN: The roles of play and curiosity as foundations for learning

October 31, 2014 by  
Filed under Parenting From Balance©

If anything makes Americans stand tall internationally it is creativity. “American ingenuity” is admired everywhere. We are not the richest country (at least not as measured by smallest percentage in poverty), nor the healthiest (far from it), nor the country whose kids score highest on standardized tests (despite our politicians’ misguided intentions to get us there), but we are the most inventive country. We are the great innovators, specialists in figuring out new ways of doing things and new things to do. Perhaps this derives from our frontier beginnings, or from our unique form of democracy with its emphasis on individual freedom and respect for nonconformity. In the business world as well as in academia and the arts and elsewhere, creativity is our number one asset. In a recent IBM poll, 1,500 CEOs acknowledged this when they identified creativity as the best predictor of future success.[1]

It is sobering, therefore, to read Kyung Hee Kim’s recent research report documenting a continuous decline in creativity among American schoolchildren over the last two or three decades.[2]

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