Hey, Guess What?!! You Already ARE the Perfect Parent!!

If you’re like me, you are your own worst critic. And there is no badge of honor in that, even though we have been brought up to believe it is so. You deserve the same “break” you are wanting your child to be given. And it has to start with you doing it for yourself, since you are their primary teacher. Ease up a little, and give yourself some validation. You deserve it!

Unconditionally Loving …. Me?

Just as I was ready to shatter like the corelle-ware bowl I had shockingly smashed earlier in the day (I think of the restaurant in Japan where, at the conclusion of the meal, people summarily and passionately smash their dinnerware down a deep courtyard…

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Taught?

One day last spring, James Wade sat cross-legged on the carpet and called his kindergarten class to order. Lanky and soft-spoken, Wade has a gentle charisma well suited to his role as a teacher of small children: steady, rather than exuberant. When a child performs a requested task, like closing the door after recess, he will often acknowledge the moment by murmuring, “Thank you, sweet pea,” in a mild Texas drawl….

A Typical Day at Riviera PlaySchool

Riviera PlaySchool is mainly child-directed. In other words, the teachers at PlaySchool meet the children where they are. Not just physically, by getting down on the same level when we speak, but also energetically, by being in the moment, and celebrating in their successes, and joining them in the joy of creation. When any conflict occurs, it is a true learning moment, and teachers are on hand to hold space for the children to resolve their own conflicts. We try to not rush to a resolution of our adult creation. Sometimes children can take a while to sort a conflict out to a place they deem to be “fair.”. And we give them space to take the time to do that, while offering support, and helping them keep bodies and hears safe. We pay particular attention to where we are during the conflict. We stay on the sidelines. We don’t jump into the fray energetically. If we notice our speech becoming more rapid, or our voice becoming louder, then that’s a signal to us to take a step back and let them have their own emotions about the conflict at hand. It’s pretty tricky, and it keeps us more awake as people. It is an incredibly magical thing to witness a couple of small children figure out a workable solution to their volatile dilemma…and then walk away laughing together, more emotionally and socially intelligent than before

Taking a Step Back….

My critical self-judgment has probably been the most difficult thing to overcome in being parent. It seems I am never enough. whew. I never do enough for my children, don’t do it well enough, don’t love them enough, I’m not patient enough with them, not energetic enough for them, not sweet enough for them. That condemning JUDGE inside me tells me in so many ways how I am simply NOT enough.

The importance of “I” Statements and Transparency

Because our children came from us (physically), they perceive that we gave them life. We are incredibly powerful in their eyes…like “god” to them!

FREEDOM TO LEARN: The roles of play and curiosity as foundations for learning

If anything makes Americans stand tall internationally it is creativity. “American ingenuity” is admired everywhere. We are not the richest country (at least not as measured by smallest percentage in poverty), nor the healthiest (far from it), nor the country whose kids score highest on standardized tests (despite our politicians’ misguided intentions to get us there), but we are the most inventive country. We are the great innovators, specialists in figuring out new ways of doing things and new things to do. Perhaps this derives from our frontier beginnings, or from our unique form of democracy with its emphasis on individual freedom and respect for nonconformity. In the business world as well as in academia and the arts and elsewhere, creativity is our number one asset. In a recent IBM poll, 1,500 CEOs acknowledged this when they identified creativity as the best predictor of future success.[1]

It is sobering, therefore, to read Kyung Hee Kim’s recent research report documenting a continuous decline in creativity among American schoolchildren over the last two or three decades.[2]

Why Preschool Shouldn’t Be Like School

Without a teacher present, children look for a much wider range of information and consider a greater range of options. Knowing what to expect from a teacher is a really good thing, of course: It lets you get the right answers more quickly than you would otherwise. Indeed, these studies show that 4-year-olds understand how teaching works and can learn from teachers. But there is an intrinsic trade-off between that kind of learning and the more wide-ranging learning that is so natural for young children. ..

Compassionate Listening = Listening to Ourselves with Compassion

The reason why I created a non violent preschool for my son, and the reason why I am on the hunt for a humanitarian school (or at the very least a compassionate teacher) for his elementary school experience, is completely selfish: I was a troubled child. I was the hard one. I had BIG emotions, and they were usually not understood. (OK, I admit it…I am STILL the troubled child, and I STILL have BIG emotions!)

Empathy vs Sympathy: Do you care more about your child’s feelings or your own?

There is a fine line between sympathy and empathy. Learning the difference can make huge changes in your relationship with your child. My mother was a professional worrier. Whenever I expressed having a problem with anything, she sympathized, “Oh my poor dear. That’s so awful. Do you really have to do that?” Her sympathy was not helpful. As a matter of fact, I stopped sharing my problems with her because then I had her feelings and worry to deal with as well as my own problem.

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