Compassionate Listening = Listening to Ourselves with Compassion

The reason why I created a non violent preschool for my son, and the reason why I am on the hunt for a humanitarian school (or at the very least a compassionate teacher) for his elementary school experience, is completely selfish: I was a troubled child. I was the hard one. I had BIG emotions, and they were usually not understood. (OK, I admit it…I am STILL the troubled child, and I STILL have BIG emotions!)

How to Make Your Child Listen and Respect You.

I was thinking about a conflict the other day that involved my son and myself. I realized that ‘conflict resolution,’ per se, doesn’t truly exist when the conflict is between the two of us. And that is because I have an agenda. You see, I think I know the better way, the better tactic, the “truth,” and even before I let my son explain his thoughts and intentions, I am already formulating my response.

Should We Let Our Boys Play with Girls’ Toys?

I refuse to damage my sons! I will not allow my sons to play with girls’ toys, because I want to preserve their authentic selves….

Fill Yourself Up: The Oxygen Mask Rule

It is such a vicious cycle! I am exhausted by feeling compelled to over-do everything else to make up for the ‘luxury’ of staying at home. And then guilt drives me to “do without” in lieu of being with my child. It is insidious, how, little by little I have given up doing things for myself, because I believe that I should be spending more time with my child. But then finally I realized that I was doing nothing for my own pure enjoyment anymore.

Parenting Class Series: Echo Parenting Empathy- Lead Paradigm for Raising Children.

Have you ever been surprised at the level of frustration you’ve felt toward your child? Raising children is so difficult, yet most parents don’t get much support to build skills and techniques! This six session private course will help parents to learn a philosophy and practice of parenting that is based on empathy and compassion, yet is not permissive. Topics will include: The science of brain development, setting and holding limits, learning from our own childhoods, emotional intelligence, anger, self regulation and much more.

Are You Listening…?

I have been putting my attention on listening lately.

I was thinking about a conflict the other day that involved my son and myself. I realized that ‘conflict resolution,’ per se, doesn’t truly exist when the conflict is between the two of us. And that is because I have an agenda. You see, I think I know the better way, the better tactic, the “truth,” and even before I let my son explain his thoughts and intentions, I am already formulating my response.

:: Needs and Desires, Part 2 ::

There is no *practical* difference between a need

and a desire.

Can the Right Kinds of Play Teach Self-Control?

Many practices that most prekindergarten teachers consider essential are more or less banned from Tools of the Mind classrooms. There are no gold stars, no telling the class that they are all going to have to wait until Jimmy is quiet; even timeouts are discouraged. When there is a conflict — when, say, Billy grabs a toy from Jamal — the Tools of the Mind teacher’s first questions are supposed to be: What was it in the classroom that made it hard for Billy to control himself? And what mediators could help him do better next time? The teacher does remind Billy that there is a rule and he broke it, but she doesn’t make a big deal out of the incident. “We pretty much try not to use this whole concept of misbehavior,” Bodrova told me. “These kids are not born criminals. Even if they do something that is completely out of bounds, they do it because they can’t stop themselves.”

Are You Listening?

Do you really listen to the people in your life? While reading this I reflected upon how I listen to my husband, my child, and my friends…I wanted to share it with you. If “Not being heard” is the basis for all human conflict, then I am going to cultivate more peace in my relationships today by doing some more listening. Love, Linda

OmmmmmMy God! Compassion is a 2-Way Street

Science now has well-documented evidence that anyone CAN reach enlightenment in one easy step! I am tossing my meditation beads… they have found the holy grail!

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