Are You Listening…?

I have been putting my attention on listening lately.

I was thinking about a conflict the other day that involved my son and myself. I realized that ‘conflict resolution,’ per se, doesn’t truly exist when the conflict is between the two of us. And that is because I have an agenda. You see, I think I know the better way, the better tactic, the “truth,” and even before I let my son explain his thoughts and intentions, I am already formulating my response.

Compassionate Listening = Listening to Ourselves with Compassion

The reason why I created a non violent preschool for my son, and the reason why I am on the hunt for a humanitarian school (or at the very least a compassionate teacher) for his elementary school experience, is completely selfish: I was a troubled child. I was the hard one. I had BIG emotions, and they were usually not understood. (OK, I admit it…I am STILL the troubled child, and I STILL have BIG emotions!)

:: Needs and Desires, Part 2 ::

There is no *practical* difference between a need

and a desire.

Can the Right Kinds of Play Teach Self-Control?

Many practices that most prekindergarten teachers consider essential are more or less banned from Tools of the Mind classrooms. There are no gold stars, no telling the class that they are all going to have to wait until Jimmy is quiet; even timeouts are discouraged. When there is a conflict — when, say, Billy grabs a toy from Jamal — the Tools of the Mind teacher’s first questions are supposed to be: What was it in the classroom that made it hard for Billy to control himself? And what mediators could help him do better next time? The teacher does remind Billy that there is a rule and he broke it, but she doesn’t make a big deal out of the incident. “We pretty much try not to use this whole concept of misbehavior,” Bodrova told me. “These kids are not born criminals. Even if they do something that is completely out of bounds, they do it because they can’t stop themselves.”

Are You Listening?

Do you really listen to the people in your life? While reading this I reflected upon how I listen to my husband, my child, and my friends…I wanted to share it with you. If “Not being heard” is the basis for all human conflict, then I am going to cultivate more peace in my relationships today by doing some more listening. Love, Linda

OmmmmmMy God! Compassion is a 2-Way Street

Science now has well-documented evidence that anyone CAN reach enlightenment in one easy step! I am tossing my meditation beads… they have found the holy grail!

What do "Shutter Island" and non violent communication have in common?

My husband (my best buddy) and I went out to see Shutter Island last night. Oh my gosh it was shocking. I was not up for it. But very well done. If you love superbly fine actors like Leonardo DiCaprio, and Ben Kingsley, and you crave the psychological thrill of Alfred Hitchcock, the cinematography of [...]