"Who would've thought soap and water could be so much fun?"

Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills

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by Alix Spiegel

NPR    February 21, 2008

On October 3, 1955, the Mickey Mouse Club debuted on television. As we all now know, the show quickly became a cultural icon, one of those phenomena that helped define an era.

What is less remembered but equally, if not more, important, is that another transformative cultural event happened that day: The Mattel toy company began advertising a gun called the “Thunder Burp.”

I know — who’s ever heard of the Thunder Burp?

Well, no one.

The reason the advertisement is significant is because it marked the first time that any toy company had attempted to peddle merchandise on television outside of the Christmas season. Until 1955, ad budgets at toy companies were minuscule, so the only time they could afford to hawk their wares on TV was during Christmas. But then came Mattel and the Thunder Burp, which, according to Howard Chudacoff, a cultural historian at Brown University, was a kind of historical watershed. Almost overnight, children’s play became focused, as never before, on things — the toys themselves.

“It’s interesting to me that when we talk about play today, the first thing that comes to mind are toys,” says Chudacoff. “Whereas when I would think of play in the 19th century, I would think of activity rather than an object.”

Chudacoff’s recently published history of child’s play argues that for most of human history what children did when they played was roam in packs large or small, more or less unsupervised, and engage in freewheeling imaginative play. They were pirates and princesses, aristocrats and action heroes. Basically, says Chudacoff, they spent most of their time doing what looked like nothing much at all.

“They improvised play, whether it was in the outdoors… or whether it was on a street corner or somebody’s back yard,” Chudacoff says. “They improvised their own play; they regulated their play; they made up their own rules.”

But during the second half of the 20th century, Chudacoff argues, play changed radically. Instead of spending their time in autonomous shifting make-believe, children were supplied with ever more specific toys for play and predetermined scripts. Essentially, instead of playing pirate with a tree branch they played Star Wars with a toy light saber. Chudacoff calls this the commercialization and co-optation of child’s play — a trend which begins to shrink the size of children’s imaginative space.

But commercialization isn’t the only reason imagination comes under siege. In the second half of the 20th century, Chudacoff says, parents became increasingly concerned about safety, and were driven to create play environments that were secure and could not be penetrated by threats of the outside world. Karate classes, gymnastics, summer camps — these create safe environments for children, Chudacoff says. And they also do something more: for middle-class parents increasingly worried about achievement, they offer to enrich a child’s mind.

Change in Play, Change in Kids

Clearly the way that children spend their time has changed. Here’s the issue: A growing number of psychologists believe that these changes in what children do has also changed kids’ cognitive and emotional development.

It turns out that all that time spent playing make-believe actually helped children develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function. Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline.

We know that children’s capacity for self-regulation has diminished. A recent study replicated a study of self-regulation first done in the late 1940s, in which psychological researchers asked kids ages 3, 5 and 7 to do a number of exercises. One of those exercises included standing perfectly still without moving. The 3-year-olds couldn’t stand still at all, the 5-year-olds could do it for about three minutes, and the 7-year-olds could stand pretty much as long as the researchers asked. In 2001, researchers repeated this experiment. But, psychologist Elena Bodrova at Mid-Continent Research for Education and Learning says, the results were very different.

“Today’s 5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds 60 years ago, and today’s 7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of a 5-year-old 60 years ago,” Bodrova explains. “So the results were very sad.”

Sad because self-regulation is incredibly important. Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child’s IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, “Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain.”

The Importance of Self-Regulation

According to Berk, one reason make-believe is such a powerful tool for building self-discipline is because during make-believe, children engage in what’s called private speech: They talk to themselves about what they are going to do and how they are going to do it.

“In fact, if we compare preschoolers’ activities and the amount of private speech that occurs across them, we find that this self-regulating language is highest during make-believe play,” Berk says. “And this type of self-regulating language… has been shown in many studies to be predictive of executive functions.”

And it’s not just children who use private speech to control themselves. If we look at adult use of private speech, Berk says, “we’re often using it to surmount obstacles, to master cognitive and social skills, and to manage our emotions.”

Unfortunately, the more structured the play, the more children’s private speech declines. Essentially, because children’s play is so focused on lessons and leagues, and because kids’ toys increasingly inhibit imaginative play, kids aren’t getting a chance to practice policing themselves. When they have that opportunity, says Berk, the results are clear: Self-regulation improves.

“One index that researchers, including myself, have used… is the extent to which a child, for example, cleans up independently after a free-choice period in preschool,” Berk says. “We find that children who are most effective at complex make-believe play take on that responsibility with… greater willingness, and even will assist others in doing so without teacher prompting.”

Despite the evidence of the benefits of imaginative play, however, even in the context of preschool young children’s play is in decline. According to Yale psychological researcher Dorothy Singer, teachers and school administrators just don’t see the value.

“Because of the testing, and the emphasis now that you have to really pass these tests, teachers are starting earlier and earlier to drill the kids in their basic fundamentals. Play is viewed as unnecessary, a waste of time,” Singer says. “I have so many articles that have documented the shortening of free play for children, where the teachers in these schools are using the time for cognitive skills.”

It seems that in the rush to give children every advantage — to protect them, to stimulate them, to enrich them — our culture has unwittingly compromised one of the activities that helped children most. All that wasted time was not such a waste after all.

Just remember, if it resonates, then it is simply the mirror — it is alive in you, too.

If you’re like me, you are your own worst critic. And there is no badge of honor in that, even though we have been brought up to believe it is so. You deserve the same “break” you are wanting your child to be given. And it has to start with you doing it for yourself, since you are their primary teacher. Ease up a little, and give yourself some validation. You deserve it!

If you are reading this, you are among the top 10% of people in the world who are in some stage of waking up. You are a special person, and a special parent, who has chosen to bring really special children into the world. And you have chosen a harder path to take in raising them. This way is much more difficult and less “efficient” than the mainstream way which uses punishment and rewards as a way to control behavior. And it will pay off both in your own relationship with your children, and also in your gift to the world, because you will have helped create a really great human being.

As Joseph Chilton Pearce says, “Your must be what you want your children to become.”  Isn’t it a breathe of fresh air to know that being your authentic self is perfect?!!

Lots of Love,

Linda Shannon

Director

Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
TEACHING FROM BALANCE
A Mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia, Montessori, Waldorf and Compassionate Communication.

“In our busy world, children often don’t get the extended hours to play and experiment that their young minds need in order to thrive. So the problems many children have are actually generated by too much time spent in environments in which children are expected to “behave.”  When a restricted environment isn’t balanced out by an hour or more a day when children can run hard, laugh hard, wrestle, be daring, and engage in spontaneous play, the strain shows in their behavior. The symptoms that trigger diagnoses can and often are the result of “APP”–Absence of Physical Play.”

At Riviera PlaySchool we combine a perfect balance of gross motor opportunities and FREE play in wide open environment, with fine motor discovery.  We combine the best of Montessori, Waldorf, and Reggio Emilia…  read more about why play is important in this article from Hand in Hand:

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/news/177/64/Attending-to-Attention-Issues

Lots of Love,

Linda

Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
TEACHING FROM BALANCE
A Mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia, Bev Bos, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent Communication.

100 Ways to Show You Care

But now everyone is talking about the importance of “school readiness” before kids get to kindergarten.

That’s why many parents, anxious for their children to succeed in school, want early care and education programs to have children sit at tables using work sheets, drills, and flash cards to learn letters and numbers and even starting to read, add, and subtract.

But preschoolers learn differently from school-age children: play is essential to early learning. Play is the main way children learn and develop ideas about the world. It helps them build the skills necessary for critical thinking and leadership. It’s how they learn to solve problems and to feel good about their ability to learn.

Children learn the most from play when they have skilled teachers who are well-trained in understanding how play contributes to learning.
Most child development experts agree that play is an essential part of a high-quality early learning program. Play is not a break from learning—it’s the way young children learn.
High-quality preschools provide lasting benefits
High-quality preschool and child care programs have lasting benefits. Three studies, which followed children for many years, showed that taxpayers saved at least $2.69 for every dollar spent on high-quality early learning programs, by reducing special education, law-enforcement, and other costs.

In all these programs, “child-initiated” activities were important—highly trained teachers used children’s interests and activities to guide learning. Kids got to choose from appropriate activities, rather than spending all their time following teachers’ instructions.

Several studies have shown that children learn more from educational activities that support their own interests and ideas. Some researchers have found evidence that too much teacher-directed activity undermines young children’s self-confidence and motivation to learn.

Play promotes school success in many ways
Researchers are finding more and more connections between children’s play and the learning and social development that helps them succeed in school.
For example, pretend play helps children learn to think abstractly and to look at things from someone else’s perspective. Pretend play is also connected to early literacy, mathematical thinking, and problem-solving.

When children play:
They test their developing ideas with objects, people, and situations—the key ability for academic learning

They develop many kinds of skills together—physical, social, emotional, thinking, and language

They are doing things they are interested in, so they have a natural motivation to learn

They develop concepts and skills together. For example, as a child learns to write the letters in her name, she is also learning the concept that each letter represents a sound. And she is very motivated by the meaning—her own name! Children are more likely to remember skills and concepts they have learned by doing things that are meaningful to them

They learn from other children and develop social skills by playing together
When children play, they learn skills that contribute to school success

Using one thing to represent another
Through pretend play, children learn to use their imaginations to represent objects, people, and ideas.

What you see:
A toddler flaps her arms, pretending to be a butterfly
Another picks up a banana, holds it to his ear like a telephone, and says, “Hello.”
A preschooler builds a firehouse with blocks.

How it promotes school success:
If children can use one thing to represent something else, it’s easier for them to understand that letters represent sounds and numbers represent quantities.
And later on they will be able to their imaginations to visualize historical events or scientific ideas.

Using language and telling stories
Through pretend play, children develop their skills in using language and in telling and understanding stories.

What you see:
Children act out scenes in the housekeeping corner
A child makes her stuffed animal “talk,” telling a story

How it promotes school success:
Oral language skills and storytelling are the building blocks of reading and writing, as well as subjects like social studies and science.

Using experimentation and logic
When children play with materials such as blocks, clay, sand, and water, they develop skills in logic. They experiment with cause and effect, with counting and sorting things and solving problems.

What you see:
Children experiment with blocks to figure out how to build a stable structure
Children count the number of cups needed for a “tea party”
Children pour sand into different sized containers.

How it promotes school success:
This practice in experimenting, observing, comparing, and working with shapes, sizes, and quantities forms the basis for understanding math and science and for all higher-order thinking.

Developing self control and social skills
As children share materials and play together, they learn to cooperate, listen to others, stand up for their own ideas, handle frustration, and empathize.

What you see:
Children negotiate over roles in dramatic play: “We can both be pilots if we have two seats.”
One child cries and another says, “Don’t worry, your mom is coming soon.”

How it promotes school success:
Many studies have shown that kids with good social skills and emotional health do better in school and are more likely to avoid dangerous behavior as teenagers. Through play, children develop their ability to form relationships with other children and with teachers.

Learning to enjoy learning
When children do activities they have chosen, learning is enjoyable. It’s based on their own interests and gives them a sense of competence.

What you see:
Classrooms organized with different activity centers (blocks, dramatic play, painting and drawing, reading, science, etc.)
Children encouraged to choose their own activities.

How it promotes school success:
Studies show that children’s attitudes of curiosity, motivation, and competence are key to success in elementary school.

The teacher is key to play-based learning
Children learn more through play when they have well-trained teachers who know how to respond to, guide, and extend their play to increase learning—and how to assess their development by observing their play.

Teachers can:
Guide and extend play to help children learn more
Respond to play: A teacher sees a child playing and builds vocabulary by providing new words: “That’s interesting. You’ve lined up the animals from tiny to gigantic.”

Extend play: A teacher hears children making silly rhymes: “You’re juicy, goosey, foosey.” She extends this play by teaching songs that play with the sounds of language, such as “Apples and Bananas.” She knows that this helps children learn to recognize the separate sounds in words.
A teacher observes a child pretending a chair is a car and “driving.” She encourages imagination by asking “Where are you going? What do you see along the way?”
Guide play: One week a teacher turns the dress-up area into a shoe store. Children practice language and social skills by acting out “customers” and “sales people.” They learn new vocabulary (canvas, boots). They use art to make signs for the store. Some older preschoolers may write letters and words for the signs, or practice simple math by making change for purchases.

Assess children’s development by watching them play
Observe the child’s activities: Seeing a child line up toy dinosaurs by size shows her understanding of size comparisons and putting things in order.

Listen to the child talk: Hearing a child talk about what letters “say” shows his understanding that letters represent words.

Take photos: A series of photos of a child’s block structures over time shows that she is learning more about spatial relations.

Policy recommendations
Because play is so important to developing the skills, concepts, and approaches children will use throughout their lives, public policy should support early education that emphasizes play. Parents and child care providers can urge policymakers to:

Adopt early childhood learning standards that identify play as the primary method for early learning.

Require curricula and learning materials that emphasize play

Fund in-depth training and ongoing education for early childhood educators, including elementary school teachers, about how to use play to promote learning

Educate parents about the importance of play.

Assess young children’s learning through observation, not formal tests.

Parents can
Provide playthings that kids can use in a variety of ways: blocks, paper and crayons, dolls and toy animals, balls, playdough, etc.

Encourage kids to play with ordinary household objects like pots and pans and outdoor materials like sticks and grass

Provide simple playthings that encourage children to be active and use their imaginations, not to watch while the toy does tricks.

Play with your children, ask them questions about their play (“What are those animals doing?”), and point out things you notice (“You used a lot of bright colors in that picture!”)

Look for child care and preschool programs where children learn through play. Ask: How does this program use play to help children learn?

For more about play and learning
Zero to Three has many brochures explaining the importance of play, with tips for understanding children’s play and ideas about how to make the most of play time. 202-638-1144, www.zerotothree.org

National Association for the Education of Young Children publishes Early Years are Learning Years, short articles for parents and child care providers, including many on “play and learning.” 800-424-2460, http://www.naeyc.org/

“Time for Play Every Day: It’s Fun and Fundamental,” Alliance for Childhood, www.allianceforchildhood.net/projects/play/pdf_files/play_fact_sheet.pdf
A Place of Our Own, a television show and web site with many ideas for activities, check your local PBS listings for show times, www.aplaceofourown.org

Play at the Center of the Curriculum, by Van Hoorn, Nourot, Scales, and Alward, 4th edition, 2007, Merrill/Prentice Hall

For parenting and child care education, contact your local First 5. Info from 916-263-1050, www.ccfc.ca.gov

For the complete Early Childhood Funders policy brief including references, go to www.4children.org/play.htm

–
Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
TEACHING FROM BALANCE
A Mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Bev Bos, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent Communication.

cell: (310)408-5616

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

“If a child is to keep his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.”
~ Rachel Carson

“People are people no matter how small.”
~ Horton

As parents and adults, we typically struggle a little with how to provide children the space to have their power, (and thus exclude) and also provide an opportunity for them to develop common ground.

I think it is so important, of primary importance, to allow children to have as much power over themselves as possible. Especially power over their own bodies. I think somehow that through providing children with the opportunity to have power over themselves and their environments, that they can develop empathy naturally.

And so I have, for the past few years, gone along with the thought that children should be allowed to exclude. As it was explained to me, it is a necessary factor in developing personal power.

BUT I Recently realized that THIS IS WRONG INFORMATION!!!!  EXCLUSION IS NOT a developmental stage that children grow out of when they have enough of it.

In group play, we want to help the powerless. And the question is whether we make children include others, or allow them to exclude.

It is a delicate situation. There is a fine line between using our implicit power (by being adults, by having larger bodies) to “encourage” the excluders to include, and thereby becoming the bullies in the process.

And although I have been fairly comfortable in helping children see ways they can include each other, but I was not comfortable to making them, however gently, include another child in play if they do not want to. I felt that I was somehow circumventing a developmental stage they needed to travel through, unfettered by my persuasions or values.

And I have been rethinking the old approach I was taught since I starting to read “You Can’t Say You Can’t Play,” and it is helping change my mind and find a new solution.

That way with excluded/excluder never resonated fully with me, and therefore I could never really explain the reasoning fully to anyone. That was my inkling to myself that I needed a new approach.

The approach I learned to take seems to imply that exclusion is a developmental need that children must engage in and experience fully before they can move on to inclusion. Kinda like the way sharing works, where we allow a child to have have an object until they feel secure and then they will spontaneously share. While it is true in the case of possessions, it does not work for exclusion.

It goes back, like everything, to what the unmet need is. There were 2 different needs in the dynamic at my house yesterday. Not sure I got the needs right, but there was my son, wanting to be a cool friend (be accepted) by his new friend Gerry, and Gerry, wanting to feel important? Wanting to feel powerful?

In examining the needs, I see that there are more valid ways to meet these needs. The behavior of exclusion as a tactic to meet these needs is not something I want my son to carry on with into his teen years. That would be bullying. So when will it end, if I let it go, unchecked?

I thought about how I had handled name calling in the last 2 years — same thing. I originally thought I should let it go, and not give it energy, and it would resolve itself. It is only words, after all. But name calling can be just another way of excluding. And what happened instead was that a gang mentality appeared. It was like Lord of The Flies.

Yes, children are pure. And their intentions are never evil: and yet, when their behavior is allowed to go on, unexamined, it can feed off itself. We have an important function in the lives of our children: not as authoritarians, but as authoritative coaches.

We have to think again of that mountain of egocentricity, and society/community below. Our collective goal is to help them acquire the skills to interact productively and happily with society. To become a member.

Just yesterday my son had a playdate with 2 friends. One of them (a 6 yr old who also happens to be the newest addition to the group) has been trying the exclude the 3rd friend (a 4 year old and my son’s best friend) for the last 2 playdates. This time I realized before hand what might be in store for Ari. My son had created 3 “kits” – one form each friend. He showed me them, proudly, and explained that the dumbest kit was for Ari.

I discussed in brief. First I said: I noticed last time you three played together, Gerry tried to exclude Ari and call him names. If that is your plan again this time, then it is better if we call him right now and ask him not to come.

“No! I want Ari to come.”

“OK. Then I am also wondering about this kit. How would you feel if you went over to your friend’s house, and he gave you the “dumbest” kit.?”

“OK Linda. I’ll put together the kit and you can decide whether it’s dumb.” He put together the mini figure and held it up for me to see. “What do you think? Is it dumb?”

“I don’t think it’s dumb. I think it’s kind of cool.” I stated plainly, shrugging my shoulders. “I think it’s great that you thought of making kits for each of your friends.”

“Yes, and don’t forget they are supposed to fill them up with their own figures from my box once they get here.”

“Ok. I just want you to think about how you will play with both friends today. And if that is too hard, then don’t invite one of them over. Sometimes people think they can’t play with more than one friend at a time. And that’s OK, too.”

“Why is that, Linda?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it just takes practice. But it’s worth it. It can be more fun to have more friends together.” As I talked with him, I remembered having a similar conversation with my own mother when I was 6, and I had been excluded. Only that time, my mother told me that 3 people cannot be friends together. She had laid it down as a law. How dismal is that?

I saw my son listening intently to me, and I saw the wheels turning in his head. I have a rule with conversations: 25 words or less. Otherwise the children turn off their ears, and float on down the road. After 25 words, my voice becomes the teacher’s horn voice in Charlie Brown. “Bwaap bwap bwap bwap bwaap.”
The boys arrived, and though of course I had to intervene a couple of times to help Gerry understand about name calling and using threats, Kian happily included Ari in the play.

At one point when Gerry said to Kian “Ari can’t have cereal, right?!” Kian seemed to have not heard the remark at all, and he said to Ari “Would you like some, Ari?”
The three boys simply needs to know what the rules of engagement were. They just needed to know what the limits were. And this is not knowledge they are born with.

This is why we are in their lives. And it is our job to be sure that when we are setting down those limits, we are not doing so out of fear, or control issues. We have to be coming from as much clarity as possible.

Some might say I usurped my son’s power by not allowing him to exert his power to exclude. I disagree. The proof is in the pudding, as they say. I look at my son, and see that he is grounded, strong, confident, joyful, spontaneous, imaginative, fulfilled, and opinionated. My son is an awesome person, who is thoughtful and considerate, and has many friends. He speaks his truth clearly to anyone, adults and children alike. I am loving the person he is, and my guidance for him is helping him become a success in the world.

If he actually chose me as a spirit, then he chose me at least in part for my experience on earth, and the answers I have. If I fail to share with him my wisdom, then I am neglectful in allowing him to flounder and fail. It could be so much easier for him than it was for me — because he has me and my husband as parents.

—-
I know that there are also different kinds of exclusion. There are different reasons for it.

The kind of exclusion I am discussing above seems to fulfill some kind of self esteem issue. A need for power, a need to push someone else down to fill big enough in our own skin.

Today we had an impromptu staff meeting before school started about exclusion. We all discussed the approach I wrote about. Then the teachers put it into action. Ari, Gerry, and Kian were all at playschool today, and so of course the situation was recast!

And this time, the 3 boys were at the top of the structure, and Kian told a 4th boy: you can’t come up here!

The teacher asked: how does that feel? I know when I have been excluded, I felt bad inside. Kian agreed, and he said “But Heather, there isn’t enough room up here for more people. When more people come up, it’s crowded!”

(Teacher) Heather said “Oh! Well, that makes total sense. Maybe you could say that, then, to Jerry. I know that if you told me that, then I wouldn’t feel bad, I would understand!”

Kian: “Jerry, you can’t come up here right now because it will be too crowded, but you can be on the bottom!”

So although I know that it is different in classrooms than at home, it is still our job as teacher to mentor good citizenship. To be the best we can be, to offer guidance for their journey.

That’s why we shouldn’t judge them — they are just struggling to figure it out.

And if we take the time, they really reflect on what we have to offer them.

Like Bev said once, with a child who is really having a hard time, if we can get down on their level and be there with them — and let them know we are in it with them: “We’ll get through this together” goes a long way. Kids just want to be successful.

—-

One point I want to make clear: when I compare exclusion to sharing, I did not mean to say they are related.

What I meant by the comparison is simply that many people seem to think that exclusion is a developmental stage that children must travel through and work out on their own. Just as sharing is.

And my current professor at UCLA, Karen Fite, helped me see that the precise difference between the sharing thing and the exclusion thing is that though both are fear-based, with sharing, they will grow into the behavior of sharing once they have filled up. With exclusion, the act is often driven by “exclude them before they exclude us” or “unite before we become the outsider” which is part of our general society, and leads to competitiveness, and also lack of a community mentality, and instead a gang mentality…

So if they are indeed excluding (gang mentality) then you can talk to them about it.
However, I think you are including “not wanting to share” behavior in this — and that is not what I was talking about. The “not wanting to share behavior” (“go away” as protection of a plan or property) can look like exclusion, but is not exclusion. It is simply not sharing. Exclusion has to do with power, and self-esteem. Sharing has to do with lack. We already know that sharing is something the child can work through more or less on their own. With one caveat — I suggest to them less harsh language to use when expressing those needs that look like exclusion but are not what I am talking about here:

“I need some space”

“I want to play by myself with this plan (and then you can have a turn)”

I see the fine line here, but you might notice that at 4 years old some kids may start to band together against another kid. That is the exclusion I am talking about.

And then they need to be given better tools to use to overcome their fears, and successfully connect with other children. This is what many non traditional educational approaches, like waldorf, montessori, reggio emilia, and constructivist schools are trying to accomplish, just as we are.

Lots of Love,

Linda

Now how to provide ourselves and our children with more of both!

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

Riviera PlaySchool
TEACHING FROM BALANCE
A Mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Bev Bos, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent Communication.