Da Vinci Innovation Academy  (K-8)

www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Needs and Desires, Part 2 ::

There is no *practical* difference between a need

and a desire.

When you’re painfully thirsty, your interest in

water is perceived as a need. When you feel okay as

you are, but would *love* a drink of water, your

interest is perceived as a desire.

In other words, needs tend to focus on the painful

consequences of non-fulfillment, while desires are

more focused on the pleasure of fulfillment.

Our culture takes pain more seriously than pleasure,

so we often call our desires “needs” in hopes of

having them taken seriously (or to justify forcing

the desired outcome).

A more authentic approach is to start taking your

desires seriously. That means re-connecting with

your inherent *worthiness* — and your children’s,

too.

Today, notice when you’re perceiving your child or

yourself to be in need. Acknowledge that the need is

valid, but then re-focus on their/your desire and

the joyful anticipation of its fulfillment…

Which focus is more inspiring?

http://dailygroove.net/needs-desires-2

Take the next step…

Join the P.A.T.H. Program:

http://www.enjoyparenting.com/path/info

Get “The Daily Groove” BOOK!

http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!

(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)

Copyright (c) 2010 by Scott Noelle

Love,

Linda

What About Those Boys?
Dan Hodgins

Boy Statistics:

1) Last year, 34% of preschool children were expelled, 87% of them were boys

2) 81% of children “kicked out” of school last year were boys

3) Boys are 6 times more likely to be “misdiagnosed” with ADD or ADHD

4) Boys are 4 times more likely to be put in special education

5) Boys are 7 times more likely to be labeled with reading or language delays

6) Boys are more likely not to complete high school

7) Boys are 9 times more likely to be labeled with a behavior problem

8 ) Boys are 4 times more likely to commit suicide

Developmental/Structural Differences:
In most cases girls brains mature earlier (boys can be 12 – 18 months behind)

Girls acquire their complex verbal skills as much as 1 year earlier

The corpus collosum in females is up to 20% larger

Girls take in more sensory data

Boys have a thicker skull

Functional Differences:

The resting female brain is more active than the activated male brain

Male brains turn on (like a machine) to do a task, then goes in to pause state

The male brain is overwhelmed by stimulation more quickly

Boys respond better to loud noises

Six times more girls sing in tune

Males have better night vision

Girls have better long term memory

Language Differences:

Communication among boys is 55% facial expressions; 38% voice tone; 7% voice alone

On the average, females produce more words than males (by 5 years of age girls have 5,000 – 7,000 word vocabularies;
boys have 3,000 – 5,000)

Girls use words as they learn them

Boys tend to work silently

Boys work out codes among themselves

Boys relate language with action

Use of Space:

Boys tend to need more space when they learn

Girls usually stay within a confined space

In block play; boys build tall; girls build low and wide

Boys move more objects in space

Testosterone:

Preschool boys can have up to 5 testosterone spikes an hour

School age boys can have up to 7 spikes an hour

Adolescent boys can have up to 10 spikes an hour

Boys engage in more motor activity during a spike

Feelings and Emotion:

Boys process and release feelings in quick bursts of energy

Males are wired to have delayed reactions to problems

Male feelings are expressed more physically

Males can go into a “cave” state for protection

Boys do not talk about their feelings

Bonding and Attachment:

Bonding and attachment must occur before the age of five

Roughhousing is essential for bonding

Hugging, handshaking, back slapping, punching, pinching are modes of bonding

Gun play, sword fighting, kicking games are not violent initiators

Bossy kids are healthy kids

Give choices that are powerful

Learning:

98% of information we receive leaves within 5 minutes unless it is real, hooked to an emotion, relevant to the child

Movable objects are needed

Power play

Firm adults

Time to solve problems

Visual guidance