Growing Through the Pain

My son Kian has always been good at conjuring up plans… but bringing them to life is another matter entirely. The pieces wouldn’t fit, the parts would fall off, or the wheels would not turn. His grand visions just needed his building expertise to catch up a little more…. and his ensuing frustration would start to leak out sideways, screaming like steam from a kettle. It was impossible for me to ignore: his loud keening was a veritable curse to the gods. It penetrated me. I could feel his chafing frustration in my heart, seeping in like hot oil. It would sit and simmer then, until something would finally snap. There was no turning back! I would lose all control, and spring into “Fix It Mode!”

Compassionate Listening = Listening to Ourselves with Compassion

The reason why I created a non violent preschool for my son, and the reason why I am on the hunt for a humanitarian school (or at the very least a compassionate teacher) for his elementary school experience, is completely selfish: I was a troubled child. I was the hard one. I had BIG emotions, and they were usually not understood. (OK, I admit it…I am STILL the troubled child, and I STILL have BIG emotions!)

MASTER CLASS WITH RUTH BEAGLEHOLE: HUMAN SEXUALITY

MASTER CLASS WITH RUTH BEAGLEHOLE June 23rd, 2011 7:00pm—9:00pm SUPPORT THE HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN’S SENSUALITY $50 per person, $75 per couple REGARDLESS OF ABILITY TO PAY, Register online at: echoparenting.org by clicking on Registration Center or contact Azucena Ortiz at 213.484.6676 ext 311 or aortiz@echoparenting.org **Scholarships available. Support healthy sexuality, body image, and self [...]

Use Your Words!

Parenting can be like tobogganing down a flight of stairs on a swatch of cardboard: smooth and easy, with just a couple of bumps and bruises! A good guideline for accomplishing this is to swap shoes with your child: treat them as you would like to be treated. And like Horton says: “People are People no Matter How Small.”

Family Values

My current favorite thought: Embrace every moment, “Be it gash, or gold, for it will not come again in this incredible disguise.” (Gwendolyn Brooks)

Taking A Step Back

We all know that our children are not reflections of us, but every once in a while we get tricked into that lie again! It sneaks in, and we spring into RE-action, rather than mindful response. That way of “reactive” thinking is a trap that often leads us to seek approval from the random parents around us. It can throw us into a tizzy of self-judgment: Oh my gosh my child is screaming (at me)! What is that father/store clerk/woman thinking about us/me?! Instead of, “Oh my gosh my child is screaming… what does my child need that I can give him?” The irony is that those random parents who we are trying to please in that hot moment of crisis don’t actually matter to us as much as our children do, nor are they even in line with our own core values!

Taking a Step Back Can Provide All the Freedom Your Child Needs!

Freedom to have power, explore, create, play, and resolve conflicts can be given to children anywhere, at anytime. These freedoms are so essential to becoming individuals, and so essential to discovering our own purpose in life, and our gifts. And yet parents these days seem to helicopter over their children, surely motivated by love, providing guidance and a running commentary on their child’s every action: “Say please! Share! Don’t do that – take turns! That’s not nice!” Contrary to these parents’ loving desires for their children, this hovering and directing steals away their children’s opportunity for magic and joy and power, and individuation! How do we arrive at a place where we can allow our children to freely experience the (dangerous?) world we live in?

Letter to my Child

Dear Kian, As you prepare for kindergarten, I wanted to write a letter to you, my love, to document my hopes for you, my love for you, and my admiration of you. I hope you will live in a world of peace, nature, community, egalitarianism, and high ideals.

I want you to be fulfilled and happy, and value the importance of life’s simple pleasures. This is where you will find true bliss.

Just today you said to me “I believe anything is possible,” and with that, I felt I had achieved the bulk of my intentions with you.

“NO!” is a Development-Stopping Word….

Exclaiming “No!” to stop a child works!

It is guaranteed to stop a child in his tracks and turn their happy, healthy, neuron-growing science exploration into a tirade of tears in seconds.

So what do we do instead?

Teaching Writing to a Preschooler: How Not to Kill Their Fire.

“Linda!” Nandu puffed out in exasperation “I CAN’T write! I’m just 4!!”

I looked at her: “Nandu, do you know what writing is?”

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