It is guaranteed to stop a child in his tracks and turn their happy, healthy, neuron-growing science exploration into a tirade of tears in seconds.

So what do we do instead?

We look for the need…and offer a solution:

“What’s your plan?  Are you wanting to balance things?  Hmmmm…..my antique tiffany china won’t work because it may break.  How about using these blocks instead?”

At Riviera PlaySchool, “What’s your plan?” is a common question. (And it’s a question that provides a some breathing space for us to de-charge and get into response mode!)

We, as teachers and parents, have a role where we provide some guidance, a lot of trust to allow our children the freedom to explore (and thus fuel their brain growth), and plenty of compassionate understanding that they are doing their best.

“Providing” a limit, to me, is ”giving” help to my child with where he needs to set a limit on his actions so he can then connect with society (and ultimately not be an outcast.)  Understanding limits allows my child greater freedom.  He now has a choice:  he can choose whether he wants to be part of, or apart from, society, when he understands society’s limits.  Then he has empathy for others. (It’s all in the same bucket)

All of us, including our children, really just want to connect.

The trick is that the limits must be age-appropriate.  We have greatly different expectations for 2 year olds than for 4 year old.  (If you have not had Early Childhood Development training you can read the series “Your 2 Year Old, Your 3 Year Old, Your 4 Year Old, etc. to understand what age-appropriate expectations means.)

Bev Bos uses an analogy of a child starting out on top of a mountain.  They begin on the top of their mountain of egocentricity.  As they travel through their various developmental stages, they are slowly making their way down that mountain.  Society sits at the bottom of the mountain.  It is our job to guide them, down the mountain…  And I like to add, to guide them down that mountain with their gifts intact.

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At Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, California, we provide
a mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia, Bev Bos, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent Communication.