DETAILS:

Hiking, Collaborating on BIG plans, building, creating, exploring…….being free (like a kid should be….)  (do you remmember those days?  Wish you had them back?  Why not provide that for Your child?)

PlaySchool is all of that, and more.  Our compassionate, passionate teachers are here to encourage and nurture your child in his or her intrinsic desires……

“Here, Kian — some tape!  A staple!  Glue!!  A new one!” A different one!”

I would reel off the remedies like so many spinning plates, but nothing worked.  The more I tried to fix it for him, the louder and more insistent his crying would become.

My antics as “Mommy fix it” lasted for 4 and a half years, until one day (just as my arms were ready to fall off from all of that plate spinning) I realized that what Kian wanted was something I could not give him: an older, more capable body.  Fingers that could manipulate deftly, arms strong enough to move the mountains in his imagination, and legs that could run fast enough to carry his quick mind.

I also realized that what I could give him was my attention.  Maybe his crying was  a request to be seen, and heard.  I learned to stop, and rather than diving in to try to fix it, I would simply reflect what it appeared he might be feeling.

“Kian, you sound frustrated.  It looks like you are having a hard time taping that piece of cardboard to your car.”

“YEAAAACHHH!”  The end note was high enough to shatter glass.

“I wonder what you could do to make your plan happen?  Is there anything I can do to help?”

“NoOo!”

I realized that the reason why I had the overwhelming compulsion to dive in and fix his frustration is because Kian is his mother’s son.  I, too, am have some perfectionist tendencies… the same tendencies that would trigger that keening in Kian.  Maybe I just needed to take a step back and work on my own feelings about this….  Another learning opportunity.  Great (just what I was hoping for!)

Then one day, at a friend’s birthday party, Kian was playing with a whistle he had just received.  I watched him toot the whistle joyfully when suddenly, it dropped right down the sewer — as though someone had snatched it from his mouth, his lips still pursed for another toot.  One minute he was blowing through it happily, and the next, it had popped right out of his hands and dropped down into that black hole in the street.

Kian looked completely stunned, and then he started to cry long, choking sobs of desolation.  It was as though his joy had been snatched right out of his hands by something unseen and beyond his control.  I wondered whether life in his still developing body often felt like that.

As I listened to his pained sobbing, I had to fight the urge to make it better.  I resisted the urge to offer suggestions.  Instead, I let him cry, and I listened, and let him be seen and heard.  Once in a while I reflected.

“I’m sooo sad!!!”

”You’re sad.”

” I loooost it!!”

“You lost it.  What can you do?” (and NOT “what can I DO for you?”  ;)

He cried for 5 minutes more. Each of those minutes lasted an hour.  I sat by, saying nothing.  I was just “there.” I noticed his emotions, and resisted the incredible urge to dive in and smooth down ruffled feathers;  kiss Kian and make everything better.  A lot went on in those 5 minutes, but it was all in my head, and in Kian’s body.

Finally Kian seemed to reach down inside himself and pull something out.  He sat up straighter, and a glimmer of hope flashed through the tears.  He choked out, gasping through his sobs, “Hey, I know!  They have more whistles.”

“Really?  Are you sure?” I was a little skeptical — I was afraid it might have been Kian’s magical thinking that conjured up that bag of whistles, ready for the picking.

“Yes!  I saw them”  Kian was still crying, and it was hard to understand him, between the choking sobs. ” I can go back and ask them for another!”

“Ok Kian.  Let’s try.”  We hopped out of the car and walked back toward the park.

When we reached the entrance, the last of the party goers were just leaving.  His friend’s mother was one of them, and she was carrying a bag.  Kian walked right over: “Geri, do you have any more whistles?   Mine went down the sewer.”

“Well Yes, Kian. We do have more whistles.  Here you go!”  She reached into her bag and pulled out a replacement whistle for him.  A satisfied calm swept over Kian’s face, as he whistled his way all the way back to our car.  Kian was self-contained in his joy, and his  newfound power was in every bouncy step.

Kian grew a lot that day.  He stepped right into his power.  And I learned a little more about how to step back at just the right time.  Score one for mommy!

Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
TEACHING FROM BALANCE
A Mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia, Bev Bos, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent Communication.

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Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
PARENTING FROM BALANCE
A mindful, “kid-centric” hands-on learning preschool program for the “whole child,” in a nature-ful, organic environment.  Riviera PlaySchool is inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia and Non-Violent Communication.

direct: (310)408-5616

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

“People are people no matter how small.”  ~ Horton

 Setting boundaries that work with children 

Parenting is a life-long learning process of nurturing our connection with our children.  Parenting is “messy” business.  There is no “prescription” for dealing with the day-to-day challenges of raising children.  There are however, basic communication tools that can assist parents in dealing positively with challenges, while deepening the relationship between parent and child.     

Workshop Content:

This workshop will focus on limit-setting techniques which support children in developing the ability to set safe limits for themselves. Discussion points to include:

• The risks associated with punishment and reward
• Why limits are important
• Preventing conflict
• Self-regulation
• Problem-solving

DETAILS:

Date: Thursday, February 23

Time: 7:00 to 9:00 pm

Location: Riviera PlaySchool

Cost: $10 each for RPS parents/ $20 each for general public

RSVP: RivieraPlaySchool@gmail.com

Introducing Facilitators Laura Dotson and Melody Elder:

Laura Dotson M.A., LMFT, the mother of 4 adult children and Ruby’s, Hyla’s, and Ayro’s grandmother, has over 35 years of varied experience working with adults and children.  She was a staff member at Play Mountain Place for 10 years, and for the past 15 years has been the Psych. Consultant at Manhattan Beach Nursery School.  Laura maintains a private practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist in the South Bay, and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology.

Melody Elder M.A.Ed., the mother of an adult daughter, is a teacher and parent educator with over 35 years experience working with children and parents in nursery school, elementary school, and home-school settings.  She has taught parenting classes for South Bay Adult School and the Center for Positive Parenting and works part-time teaching and directing at Manhattan Beach Nursery School.  Melody maintains a private coaching practice in the South Bay where she facilitates parenting support groups as well as 1:1 coaching.  She holds a Master’s Degree in Education and in Spiritual Psychology and is a credentialed teacher in Early Childhood, Elementary, and Special Education.

Contact Information:

Contact Laura at: lauradotson@adelphia.net

Contact Melody at: melody.elder@verizon.net (www.awakenedheartparenting.com)

Now, typically I would simply agree, but something told me not to on that day.  So instead of putting pen to paper, I said “Nandu, I will write it.  But why don’t you?”

Linda!  Nandu puffed out in exasperation “I CAN’T write!  I’m just 4!!”

“I looked at her “Nandu” do you know what writing is?”

“No” she said, eyes wide in wonder.

“Writing is just some marks that you make to remind yourself of what you wanted to say.  It is kind of a code.”

“Really?!” Said Nandu, in delight.

“Yes!” I said “And someday, you will learn a set of marks that everyone else can read, as well.  But right now, you can just make your own and that will work.”

“Ok!” she said.  And she excitedly began putting her story down on paper, shielding her paper from my prying eyes as she wrote.

What a success story!  We don’t want to extinguish their excitement for learning… we want to light their fire for it.

Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
Parenting From Balance
A mindful, “kid-centric” hands-on learning preschool program for the “whole child,” in a nature-ful, organic environment.  Riviera PlaySchool is inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia and Non-Violent Communication.

It is guaranteed to stop a child in his tracks and turn their happy, healthy, neuron-growing science exploration into a tirade of tears in seconds.

So what do we do instead?

We look for the need…and offer a solution:

“What’s your plan?  Are you wanting to balance things?  Hmmmm…..my antique tiffany china won’t work because it may break.  How about using these blocks instead?”

At Riviera PlaySchool, “What’s your plan?” is a common question. (And it’s a question that provides a some breathing space for us to de-charge and get into response mode!)

We, as teachers and parents, have a role where we provide some guidance, a lot of trust to allow our children the freedom to explore (and thus fuel their brain growth), and plenty of compassionate understanding that they are doing their best.

“Providing” a limit, to me, is ”giving” help to my child with where he needs to set a limit on his actions so he can then connect with society (and ultimately not be an outcast.)  Understanding limits allows my child greater freedom.  He now has a choice:  he can choose whether he wants to be part of, or apart from, society, when he understands society’s limits.  Then he has empathy for others. (It’s all in the same bucket)

All of us, including our children, really just want to connect.

The trick is that the limits must be age-appropriate.  We have greatly different expectations for 2 year olds than for 4 year old.  (If you have not had Early Childhood Development training you can read the series “Your 2 Year Old, Your 3 Year Old, Your 4 Year Old, etc. to understand what age-appropriate expectations means.)

Bev Bos uses an analogy of a child starting out on top of a mountain.  They begin on the top of their mountain of egocentricity.  As they travel through their various developmental stages, they are slowly making their way down that mountain.  Society sits at the bottom of the mountain.  It is our job to guide them, down the mountain…  And I like to add, to guide them down that mountain with their gifts intact.

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At Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, California, we provide
a mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia, Bev Bos, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent Communication.

and will run through Friday, February 17, 2012.  Enrollment for the 2011 year is on-going.  We hope you will join one of our Parent Information Nights

which will be held in our classroom at St.Andrew's Church in Redondo Beach.

Enrolling 5-7 Year Old Students - Please attend one or more of the following
Tuesday, November 15, 2011 - 7:00pm
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 - 7:00pm
Monday, January 30, 2012 - 7:00pm (“Changing Education Paradigms” Workshop with Melody Elder)

Register at http://enrollattkg.eventbrite.com/

The application is available at knowinggarden.org

--Our classroom is open. We are not improving on the existing model, we are part of the movement that is redefining elementary school.

-- Every student keeps a portfolio of work to showcase their individual growth.

-- We use the State Standards only as a touchstone for inspiring projects.  We do not test nor assess based on those standards

-- Every student spends time analyzing, integrating, and applying concepts to real-life learning opportunities. Compared to traditional schools, our day includes conflict resolution,

community meetings, more writing and project-based assignments, zero fill-in-the-blanks worksheets and currently, no homework.

-- Every student participates in Math, Science and Engineering, Language Arts, Storytelling,  Music, Art, Environmental studies and Physical activity

all facilitated by a credentialed teacher. 

The Knowing Garden is a non-profit, private school open to anyone.  Priority goes to students who apply during the Open Enrollment period.

by Janet Gonzalez- Mena, MA  “Child Family and Community”

A narrow and simplistic view of what is “Ready to Learn” focuses on teaching academics to young children.  This view ignores the huge societal changes that need to come about to ensure that all children have an equal chance for academic achievement in school. To truly have an equal chance for school success we need to eradicate poverty. give everybody health care benefits, ensure enough nutritious food, and provide decent housing.  Focusing on early academics is a cheaper but far less effective road to school success than what the brain research indicates.  Good health and social -emotional stability in the early years of life are the real roads to later achievement.  Cognitive development is vitally tied to  the social-emotional realm of development (Lally, 1998; Shore, 1997; Zigler, Finn-Stevenson, & Hall, 2003)  Instead of working toward a decent life for every child, the major societal approach is to use standardized tests to see who is behind in academic skills and then use remediation devices to catch them up.  It will take a few years to discover that this band-aid approach won’t work to take care of the wounds too many children in this country suffer in their early years.

It may not take years to discover the other problems inherent in basing educational systems solely around standardized tests.  Testing works as a stratifying tool through cultural bias.  Teachers, in order to raise their class test scores, find themselves “teaching to the test,” which means  they minimize problem solving and creativity i their classroom activities.  The tests dictate what children need to know regardless of their knowledge, experiences, and cultural differences.

Kindergarten readiness, a hot topic among politicians, is also a hot topic among parents.  With this in mind, let’s look at how kindergarten readiness goes far beyond learning the ABC’s and starts way back in infancy.  Here are some general indicators that early childhood educators agree show children are prepared to enter kindergarten:

1. Children who are ready for kindergarten are those who feel good about themselves.

The problem is that much of the discipline used makes children feel bad about themselves.  Children don’t feel good about themselves  by being made to feel bad.  Discipline should not only leave self-esteem intact but should also actually raise it when adults use modeling, guidance, and feedback.  Communication is an important part of discipline; adults should discuss feelings and behavior instead of criticizing  the child.  Adults who understand the importance of communication separate the child from the behavior, saying things like “I won’t let you hit your sister – it hurts her” instead of “Stop that, you bad boy!”

2. Children who are ready for kindergarten are those who gain knowledge from mistakes.

Some of the best lessons come from things that don’t work.  It’s easy to take the lesson out of the mistake by rescuing children so they don’t learn about the consequences of their actions.  Or the opposite situation occurs when the adult reacts to a mistake with harsh punishment.  When children become fearful of mistakes, they quit risking.  Reasonable risks are good learning devices.  This child who avoids them misses out on a lot of important lessons.

3. Children who are ready for kindergarten can communicate.

They have lots of experience in talking and listening.  They know how to carry on a conversation.  A conversation means not just talking but listening and responding appropriately as well.  Adults should start emphasizing communication early.  Even infants enjoy conversation and taking turns “talking.”  They also play with language.  As children grow older, keeping a playful attitude toward language helps encourage it.

4. Children who are ready for kindergarten can weigh alternatives and make sound choices.

Visualizing alternatives and their consequences in an important life skill.  Children who arrive in kindergarten with plenty of opportunities to practice this skill come better prepared.  When the “prepared child” gets hit by another child, she asks herself, “What are some ways I can react, and what are the consequences of each?”  The child without the ability to visualize alternatives just lashes back without thinking.  Aggression, in the face of aggression is a poor choice.  Some children never learn that, unfortunately.  Some children have no ability to imagine any response other than hitting.

5. Children who are ready for kindergarten can concentrate and focus

If they can’t do that, the problem may be too much television.  It might seem as though children develop a long attention span from watching television, because they are willing to sit and stare at it for long hours.  But turn it off and what happens?  They don’t know how to entertain themselves.  We add to the problem by over scheduling their time.  Children don’t develop long attention spans when they are never allowed to play for long periods, never free to follow their inclinations to get involved in something of their own choice, never encouraged to work at length on some project they are interested in (Elkind, 2007).  Adults tend to interrupt children, hurry them up, get them going on the next event.  Preschool programs can contribute to the problem if they keep children on a tight schedule, move them rapidly from one activity to another, and never give them a chance to work at length or in depth on anything.

No Child Left Behind has no redeemable qualities.  It is creating children who lack critical thinking skills, are less able to manage themselves socially, and classrooms that disenfranchise children based on their intelligence.  The effect of linking accountability to achievement as proved by testing is to make the teaches anxious to have only the most teachable students in their classroom.  What if your child is not a “star” in every subject…. would you want her or him to be made to feel unwanted?

Just passing this on….from Linda, with Love.

Riviera PlaySchool in Redondo Beach, CA
PARENTING FROM BALANCE
A Mindful program for the ‘Whole Child,’ inspired by the best of Attachment Parenting, Reggio Emilia, Montessori, Waldorf and Non-Violent (Compassionate or Authentic) Communication.

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

“People are people no matter how small.”  ~ Horton

A communication workshop for parents

Date:  Monday, October 10,  7:00 to 8:30 pm

Call to reserve your seat: (310)408-5616

Parenting is a life-long learning process of nurturing our connection with our children.  Parenting is “messy” business.  There is no “prescription” for dealing with the day-to-day challenges of raising children.  There are, however, basic communication tools that can assist parents in dealing positively with challenges, while deepening the relationship between parent and child.     

Workshop Content:

This workshop will address issues of communication between parent and child. Although theory will be presented, the emphasis of the workshop will focus on participants’ specific situations or concerns.  Among the tools discussed, will be:

• Intention (a way of “being” with ourselves and with our children)
• “I” messages (owning our feelings and perceptions)
• Resolving conflicts peacefully (win/win model…everyone’s needs are met)
• Facilitating “problem-solving” (creative solutions)
• Honoring feelings (parent’s and child’s)

Introducing Facilitators Laura Dotson and Melody Elder

Laura Dotson M.A., LMFT, the mother of 4 adult children and Ruby’s, Hyla’s, and Ayro’s grandmother, has over 40 years of varied experience working with adults and children.  She was a staff member at Play Mountain Place for 10 years, and for the past 15 years has been the Psych.Consultant at Manhattan Beach Nursery School.  Laura maintains a private practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist in the South Bay, and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology.

Melody Elder M.A.Ed., the mother of an adult daughter, is a teacher and parent educator with over 40 years experience working with children and parents in nursery school, elementary school, and home-school settings.  She was a parent education instructor for South Bay Adult School and the Center for Positive Parenting for 14 years.  She works part-time as a teacher and on-site director at Manhattan Beach Nursery School for over the course of 25 years. Melody maintains a private coaching practice in the South Bay where she facilitates parenting support groups as well as meeting 1:1 with parents (www.awakenedheartparenting.com). She holds a Master’s Degree in Education and in Spiritual Psychology and is a credentialed teacher in Early Childhood, Elementary, and Special Education.

Next Presentation:

Date: Monday, October 10

Time:  7:00 to 8:30 pm

Admission/Fees: $20 per person (please pay in advance to Riviera PlaySchool)

Parking:  Free!!!