Needs and Desires, part 1
November 30, 2010 by Linda
Filed under Parenting From Balance©
THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove
Parents commonly say things like, “You need to put
your toys away and get ready for bed.”
Such statements put kids in a double bind if they
don’t *feel* like complying. Who should they
believe, their parents or their own feelings?
It’s a loss either way.
“You NEED to” is really a euphemism for “you HAVE
to.” It’s a way of cloaking coercion.
If you don’t intend to give your child a choice, be
honest and state your command *as* a command: “Put
your toys away and get ready for bed.” If that feels
rude, maybe your feelings are trying to tell you
something. 🙂
You may realize that the real issue is *your* needs.
That would be a step in the right direction, but
don’t stop there… A shift in focus from needs to
desires is the key that will unlock your creativity.
(Tomorrow: Part 2)
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(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2010 by Scott Noelle
